Thursday, May 10, 2012

Broken Home

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Broken Home


Papa Roach has been a very influential and crucial band in my life, their lyrics have mirrored my own life in many instances. Papa Roachs song Broken Home is the best example of this, it paints a great picture of my relationship with my father and my childhood. Also has helped to remind me that no matter what happens he will always love me, even if he fails to show it. While the lyrics in the song seem to be very direct and clear in their meaning, I have found a deeper meaning that I can apply to my own life and hope that others can too.


My parents got divorced when I was seven, and at the time I didnt know how to express my feelings or what my feeling on the subject were. As I have matured, this song has allowed me to better understand them. I cant seem to fight these feelings... My wounds are not healing... Im stuck in between my parents, to me theses are some of the most powerful words that I have ever heard, because any child that has watched their parents go through a divorce has felt like this. Also after the divorce is final parents tend to use the children to continue their fighting, whether it is through competition or bad mouthing each other.


All kids need is someone to listen to them and give them advice on what to do. Parents should be there to do this, but sometimes we just need someone to confide in... because I just want to know the truth. That is really all every child out there needs to hear, it beat all the lies and deceit that goes on behind our backs. But like many children in broken homes I felt All alone, and didnt know If I was sad or angry, because nobody was there to teach me how to deal with my emotions. So I just repressed them until the Pain bottled up about to blow like a gun.


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Until the age of fifteen I knew my father loved me... But did my father even care this is something that I asked myself on a daily basis, because he never told me and failed to show me. My father was never around and when he was he acted like he didnt want to be around me. You were never ever there... When I need you... I hope you regret what you did, because you forever changed me, and I think I know the truth.. Your father did the same to you. I know that my father tried but her couldnt relate to me when I was younger because growing up his father was never around to set an example for him. I just hope that one day I dont do the same thing to my son, because I dont want him to go through all the pain and sadness that I endured.


Through out my childhood my mother tried to be there, but How could I tell it so yall could fee it and know what I was going through. To me, her son, she told me Im the one who must be there to set the example for the other kids. Once my parents got divorce I was propelled into a role as man of the house that I was not ready for and unwilling to feel. But, I cannot fight now, I had to thing about the others before myself, And you cant take it back cause its already done.


The sad reality is that everyday more and more children are faced with these situations, and have no one to turn to or any way to release their pain and suffering. While divorce and broken homes are an almost inevitable factor in this world if parents would just take a second to consider their kids many unfortunate experiences could be avoided. Emotions are a very powerful if managed properly, but if unchecked they can be extremely dangerous. What is wrong with me... I cannot fight now... Depression strikes me hard like my old earth would tell it, when thing dont go right in their lives children tend to blame themselves, especially when their parents get divorced. The Stories that I tell are nonfiction, thats the sad truth, parents must be there to guide their children into adolescence and on into adulthood. If they fail to be there their kids may fail to learn proper conduct and have an inability to express their emotions healthily.





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