Sunday, October 16, 2011

Development of Identity

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Identity can be defined as the characteristics that make a person unique. Identity is developed over a lifetime as a result of the influences of upbringing and life experiences. The combination of these two factors creates unique patterns of behavior and personality traits. In my own life I am who I am because of the people I grew up with and my perception of the events that happened in my life.

The most influential people in a child’s life are his parents they contribute much of what becomes the child’s outlook and perception of the world. A child generally forms opinions on ethics and conflict resolution based on what he learns from home. A child also is influenced by his parents in regards to education--a child who grows up with parents who stress education are more likely to get an advanced degree. I grew up in a working home with parents who valued hard work, education, moral integrity, and independence. My parent’s relationship with one another was basically good. They resolved disputes in a healthy manner. My father worked all of his life as a salesman. His ability to communicate and persuade others was imprinted on me. I have a natural ability to talk to people that has been an asset in every job that I have held. My mother was a heavier influence on my life because she was around more. From her I acquired spontaneity, creativity and a love of the outdoors. My mother influenced my opinions on the appearance of myself and others. She also laid down the moral code in which I live my life. Her strong religious belief helped me shape my own belief about God. These factors influenced me, as a child growing up. As my parents valued education and hard work I did as well. My parents also influenced relationships I had with other people and the jobs that I held.

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The experiences that a person lives through contribute to the characteristics that make up that person’s identity. In other words, the way we handle things in the past determines how we handle them in the future. Major life experiences can cause drastic changes in the way a person lives their life. When I was a child I experienced a series of highly personal losses. At the age of three my grandfather passed away. Although I was not especially close to him I can recall vivid details of his body in the casket, and I had a strong perception of the mood in the room even at such a young age. Ten years later my uncle died unexpectedly of a ruptured pancreas. This was the first time I ever saw my father cry. At the age of sixteen the sister that I was closest to was diagnosed with cancer. She went through a series of remissions but finally succumbed after three years. This death caused my family tremendous grief. Her husband committed suicide a year later leaving behind their three young children. My parents subsequently adopted these children. These deaths influenced my perception of mortality and gave me the impression that life was short and I should enjoy it while it was there. These events led me to place more emphasis on having a good time than other worthwhile pursuits. My education took a backseat as it was more important to experience life. My life continued down this road until the unexpected birth of my son. Being responsible for a new life placed emphasis on the importance of being able to provide a home for him. This motivated me to finish school so I could better provide for him and become a positive influence in his life. Having a child changes your perception on everything. Where before I lived for the moment I am now forced to plan for the future. Time management has become essential in care for a child and this skill carries over to my daily life. Taking care of a child has also made me become more aware of my own health. Having a child has also contributed to a highly developed sense of humor. My son has brought out all of these traits and in so doing these traits are being passed down to him. Watching him grow I can see how my identity is influencing his identity.

My identity as a person is a result of everything that has happened to me thus far. The choices I make, the way I communicate with others, the way I choose to parent my son are all patterns of behavior that are derived from what I have learned. Some of these traits came from the way I was raised and some came from life experiences. Identity is an ongoing process that changes and becomes stronger with every day.

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